A Headteacher’s Short Story about Long Covid

I last wrote a blog in mid-November. It was called ‘Under Pressure: Education in a New Era’ and it was about the many complex pressures in the education sector at present. Intentionally, I didn’t mention Covid; I had wanted the focus to be on other challenges, all of which have been around for longer than the virus itself.

Like other Headteachers, I’ve spent the last two years trying to calmly lead a school community through very choppy waters. There have been all of the pressures I previously wrote about, plus all of the ‘normal’ day to day challenges which are part of school life. All of those have been juxtaposed with the ever present risks from Covid 19. At times, the weight of responsibility for keeping everyone safe has been considerable.

I finally succumbed to the virus on 9th December. I’ll remember that day for some time. I’d actually forgotten to test at home that morning so I took a lateral flow test in my office as soon as I remembered. The double lines came as a shock (I had a heavy cold but no other symptoms). Then there was the realisation of everything I would miss at home and school over the next few weeks. I quickly gathered my things and left school, in something of a haze.

December 9th was actually the last time I set foot in school. In fact, I’ve only occasionally left the house since. This little blog is about what happened when I caught Covid. It’s about how life can change suddenly and it’s a reminder that life is precious.

My initial period with Covid was probably similar to many other people’s. I isolated for ten days and was largely bed bound for that period. I was certainly ill – an intense cold, facial pain, fatigue, tight chest, loss of smell – but I wasn’t hospitalized. My seven year old daughter tested positive the day after me so we took refuge together. Being one of the most cheerful and optimistic people I’ve ever known, she made for great company!

For about ten days after my isolation ended, I tried to revert to normal life. It was the start of the Christmas holiday for me, my wife (a teaching assistant) and our four children. There were all the usual parenting duties and housework, plus Christmas preparations and multiple festive events on the calendar. I was tired but I assumed I was recovering.

And then, sometime between Christmas and New Year, it hit me like a brick. I got up one morning, felt lousy, returned to bed and stayed there for almost 24 hours. I ached all over and had no energy or desire to move. That day marked the beginning of my post Covid illness – a condition which has eventually been diagnosed as Post Covid Syndrome or Long Covid.

Long Covid seems to affect people differently. According to the NHS and the British Heart Foundation, it doesn’t seem to matter how seriously you have the initial virus and it doesn’t seem to matter how fit or healthy you previously were. (On saying that, asthmatics do perhaps seem to be more prone to Long Covid.)

Until mid-December, I was fit and generally healthy. I had a very busy life, at home and work, and I wasn’t good at resting. I liked to get up early, run before work (and at weekends) and do jobs around the house and garden in any other spare time.

I’ve now been ill with Post Covid Syndrome since late December. My life has changed profoundly. Recovery seemingly isn’t linear so some hours/days/weeks are better than others. I now feel fatigued and exhausted almost all of the time. I have no energy, like someone has removed my batteries. If I get up from a chair too suddenly, just to go to another room, my heart rate soars. If I go upstairs or do a simple job (like emptying a bin), I lose my breath. My oxygen levels are fine yet clearly my respiratory system isn’t functioning in the way it should.

When I’m talking, I often forget words and stutter mid-sentence. This is particularly awkward during phone calls. When I’m listening, I find it hard to concentrate. I also can’t separate sounds so I find it stressful when there are various noises and conversations at the same time (like in a busy household!). I’ve driven to a local shop a few times but, again, this seems to require more intense concentration than I remember.

Following medical advice, I’m trying to build up my strength and stamina, but it’s tricky. If I do one simple thing, like a short walk or a visit somewhere, I can then feel immediately exhausted, like I could sleep for days. Sometimes I do fall straight to sleep. On some days, when I’ve felt a bit better, I’ve done more chores or walked further. However, this has sometimes caused setbacks and affected me for days on end. Finding the balance is tricky.

There’s also the matter of palpitations and changes to my heart rate. Pre-Covid, my resting heart rate was quite low, at around 45bpm. It’s now generally 65-75bpm, and often it suddenly jumps much higher. It can soar when I’m resting, sitting and sleeping. An ECG has shown my heart to be medically ‘normal’ but the feel and effects of my increased heart rate take some getting used to.

It’s been ten weeks now. My wife and I have been trying to look for patterns and to establish if any particular routines work better than others, in aiding my recovery. We’ve recently found that, if I have very slow and gentle starts (ie stay in bed all morning), I can get up and just about stay awake for the afternoon and evening. This is clearly a long way from my old life and routines but it is progress.

I’ve not written this blog for sympathy and I’m not trying to be self-pityful. A great many people have endured much greater suffering and loss.  For all the headlines and statistics, there’s still a lot of confusion, scepticism and misinformation about Covid and Long Covid. This is just my experience. It’s very real.

On the worst days of the last few months, I’ve been sitting or lying down worrying about breathing. Breathing is life itself. When you’re struggling to breathe, everything else falls into perspective.

My family and friends have held me up for these last two months. Their love and kindness has been astounding. My employers and colleagues have been hugely supportive too. School has continued without me; the team has got this. For now, I’m putting all of my effort into resting and recovering.

I’m very much looking forward to brighter days, to better health and to returning to the everyday things which I sometimes took for granted.

Steve Bladon

19/02/22

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